“Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?"
Mort thought for a moment.
"No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence.
Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right.”
-Terry Pratchett, Mort
Alright. Here we go! Ask and you shall receive...answers.
Q. Why don't we provide overnight parking for wild camping?
A. The simplest answer is...Our insurance only covers our onsite campers.
Q. Do we have accommodations for caravans and/or camper vans?
Caravans = No. Unfortunately as it sometimes goes in life, the irresponsibility of a few spoils the fun for the rest of us. Due to the unconscionable disposal of caravan toilet chemicals into our anaerobic digestive system in the past, we have been forced to discontinue our caravan accommodation. We apologise for any inconvenience.
Camper Vans = Yes (As long as you keep your vehicle off of the pitching fields. The grass is for tent pitches only.)
Q. Can I bring my dog to Gwern Gof Isaf?
A. We have one accommodation (Tal Y Waun) where guests can pay an additional fee to bring their dog. In all other accommodations dogs are strictly prohibited. In addition to being a beautiful campsite, Gwern Gof Isaf is a working sheep farm. We are proud to provide a safe, pleasurable environment for our guests as well as our pets and livestock. Whilst we appreciate that the vast majority of dog owners are conscientious and responsible, mistakes happen.
Q. Are there electric hookups available for my tent pitch/ camper van?
A. No there are no electric points available on any of our pitching fields or in any of the spaces available to camper vans, but there are electric outlets and charge stations in our washing up room.
Q. Do we provide Wi-Fi onsite?
A. At present the only accommodation that has Wi-Fi is Tal Y Waun. For every other accommodation, the quality of our broadband is extremely poor and would be of little use to anyone. Hopefully this will change in future.
Q. Do we provide food/meals/drink at the campground?
A. No. Unless there is a special event, there is no food or drink service available onsite.
Q. Will I get cell phone reception onsite?
A. The majority of big network providers are supported onsite, apart from Vodafone (Recommended alternative forms of communication include semaphore, telegraph, and carrier pigeon.)
Q. Can I drive my car up to my pitch to drop my gear off?
A. No. We do not allow parking on the pitch. It's time-consuming, messy, and extraordinarily inconvenient for us to save mud-trapped vehicles and it damages the beauty of our camping fields. Vehicles must stay on the designated access roads or in the car park.
Q. Can I play music onsite?
A. Yes, but only at an acceptable level. We love music here at Gwern Gof Isaf, but being sensitive and considerate to the experience of those around us is always our top priority. We strive to provide a pleasant atmosphere on site and we ask that music is turned down or off upon any request by other campers or by the site owners. Failure to do so will result in immediate expulsion from the site. The recommended time for settling down and turning music off is 10:30pm (last orders).
Q. Can I build a campfire or bring my bbq?
A. Who wants to go camping without a campfire? And what is camping without the delicious, smokey meals made together over the bbq? Campfires and bbqing are allowed and encouraged so long as they are raised off the ground in a container which you must provide personally.
Q. Can I get firewood from in or around the site?
A. This is a resounding 'NO'. Live as well as deadwood is valuable to our ecosystem and we ask that guests refrain from damaging our trees. (Besides live wood doesn't burn anyway......you silly.)
Q. Is alcohol consumption permitted on site?
A. Yes. Responsible alcohol consumption is permitted. However, dangerous and inappropriate behaviour will result in immediate expulsion.